How shocking! Happy Couple 0f 40 Years Divorces! But they raised four wonderful children! But they had such successful careers! What went wrong?!?
NOTHING went wrong. First of all, they’re simply human. Second of all, they’re proof that you can’t “have it all.” Third of all, it proves that nobody knows what really goes on behind the closed doors of anyone else’s house. And fourth of all, it’s none of our damn business.
One excited commentator asked breathlessly “Isn’t this isn’t a failure of love, and proof that romance can’t last for a lifetime?” Well, that’s a lot of pressure to put on two people, now, isn’t it? Two people are splitting up. Yes, it’s sad. And yes, they are now joining a majority of Americans. One might observe that they are now more “normal” than ever!
Here’s my humble observation: Out of everything a person can have in the world, you really only have four choices:
- Love/relationships
- Success/money/power
- Knowledge/wisdom
- Health/contentment
We can all choose to pursue any one of these–or any combination of them. Go for it! But here’s the catch: You must prioritize them. It’s a Cosmic Law or something. If you say, “My career and my family are of equal importance to me,” you are kidding yourself at best, and lying to the rest of us at worst.
Now don’t look at ME like that! I didn’t make up this Cosmic Law . . . I’ve simply observed that this is how human beings actually function in the real world. The billionaires tend to have messed-up families. The enlightened ones don’t tend to amass fortunes. Truly happy couples don’t star in “reality TV shows.”
It probably has something to do with the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day; and that people have only so much physical energy to expend; and we have a limited amount of emotional energy to work with. And, of course, we’re imperfect humans–with all the crazy stuff that goes along with that. Don’t ask me, go ask Freud. (And yet he studied human psychology for a lifetime, and he became famous for saying, “I still don’t know what a woman wants.”)
So where does that leave us?? Let’s look back at the Gores. I think it has something to do with romance. During the early years of their relationship, the passionate part of romance sustained them. During the middle years, the love-in-action part of romance sustained them. And now, during their later years, there’s no romance/love/passion/interest left. What’s wrong with saying, “Wow! That was great while it lasted!”
This is not a problem or a lack with romance. Romance always does its job. When there’s passion and energy, romance fans the flames. When there’s true love present, romance helps keep it alive. But when there’s no passion left, when there’s no love left, when there’s not much of a relationship left, there is simply nothing for romance to hold onto. You might lament that that’s not fair. You’re right. It’s not fair. But then again, I don’t think it’s fair that I’m going to die someday.
I think the secret–if there is a secret–is to combine the two: By living life romantically/passionately, you make the most out of your life.
